The morning ritual of an unfamous, unrich, unmotivated, unproductive writer

I love reading all these half-arsed, click bait posts about the morning rituals of the rich and famous. They give me a warm fuzzy glow. So, here’s my morning ritual to get you glowing:

1. Get up with the sun… … streaming through the gaps between the window frame and the wall #disasterfarm #YogaCorpsePose
2. Find a lime green croc from under the bed – #YogaCobraPose – climb carefully over a 50 kilo, black, wolf x rottweiler to get the other s-lime green croc he’s been cuddling all night. #YogaDownwardfacing(big)dogPose
3. Tip toe to the door which is jammed half open (#disasterfarm) – shimmy round and tread on tail of perpetually confused German shepherd boy, sleeping half in and half out of the room. Bang head on jammed door, hop around a bit – #YogaOowfacePose
4. Pee & poop (enough about that) whilst simultaneously doing my 10 minutes of meditation and stroking the heads of the perpetually confused and perpetually in motion GSDs. Who says multitasking is hard? #MeditationMaster
5. Boil water to make a hot lemon drink – this helps flush out toxins and wakes up your blah de blah de blah. Don’t have a lemon, only have a green, a furry green. It’s lemony inside, just like me, that’ll do.
6. Now time for some deep work. I read a few funny memes on reddit, lol at the questions on quora, catch up on email, stalk crazy people on facebook and pluck a few stray hairs from my chin.
7. I change out of my night time PJs and into my day time PJs – I work from home, what do you want from me?
8. Clean teeth whilst lamenting my wrinkles. Take glasses off and feel ten years younger. Trip over perpetually confused. #Yoga(falling)TreePose. Really, that’s enough yoga for today.
9. Make the bed – apparently rich and famous people always make their bed in the morning – they probably don’t have a snoring Italian and 3 dogs in theirs. I’ll leave it to him to do when he wakes up…
10. Wake the rest of the house up accidentally by treading on the face of perpetually confused whilst making coffee. How does he do that?
11. Let all 7 dogs out, feed horses, cats, goats, ducks and chickens. Pick poo… …from under my finger nails.
12. OK, let’s get down to it – focus on The 1 Thing – finding my notebook where I wrote down my 101 things To Do.

Time for another coffee…

PS: No dogs were hurt in the making of my day, though I did bang my head, thanks for asking